[Interior, sparsely decorated kitchen with Roommate 1 sitting at a table eating cereal. A calendar on the wall indicates the date is Oct. 30]
[Enter Roommate 2]
Roommate 1: Morning
Roommate 2: Morning. The house seems warmer this morning.
Roommate 1: Yeah, it got cold enough last night that I finally turned on the heat.
Roommate 2: Okay…
Roommate 1: Don’t worry; I only put the thermostat at 60. I’ll still be able to pay my share of the gas bill.
Roommate 2: Thanks. By the way, we’re low on toilet paper.
Roommate 1: Oh. [pause] I’ll pick some up tomorrow.
Roommate 2: Thanks.
[End Scene I]
[Exterior, A scarecrow sits in a lawn chair near a tree in front of a house. Lit jack-o-lanterns are also present. Sounds of children trick-or-treating are in the background.]
[Enter several youths wearing mischievous grins and bearing toilet paper.]
Youth 1: [whispers] Ready?
Rest: [whisper] Ready.
[Several youths cock their arms to throw the toilet paper.]
Scarecrow: Hey you kids, get off my lawn!
[Scarecrow leaps out of chair brandishing a large menacing gun, pointed at the youths]
Youths: [Various profanities]
[Youths drop toilet paper and run off stage]
[Interior, same as scene 1]
[Enter Roommate 2 in full paintball gear]
Roommate 2: Morning.
Roommate 1: Morning.
Roommate 2: Have you seen my paintball gun?
Roommate 1: I put it back on your dresser.
Roommate 2: Ah, thanks.
[Exit roommate 2]
Roommate 2 [from offstage]: Oh, thanks for getting the toilet paper.
Roommate 1: You’re quite welcome.
Roommate 2: How much do I owe you for it?
Roommate 1: Nothing. It was a donation … of sorts.
Roommate 2: Okaaaaaaaaay.